Mind the Gap: Turning Comparison into Your Business Superpower

Ever found yourself scrolling through social media, comparing your business journey to others and feeling like you're falling short? You're not alone. Comparison is hardwired into our psychology—it's how humans have assessed risks and opportunities since prehistoric times. But what if I told you this seemingly destructive habit could become your greatest business superpower?

In this thought-provoking episode, we dive deep into the psychology of comparison and how to transform it from a source of frustration into a strategic tool for growth. I share personal stories of how comparison nearly burned me out while growing my businesses at breakneck speed, and the valuable lessons I learned about sustainable success along the way.

The key distinction lies between external comparison (measuring yourself against others) and internal comparison (measuring against your past self). When you shift from envying others' highlight reels to using their success as a roadmap, everything changes. You'll discover practical strategies for "minding the gap" between where you are and where you want to be without falling into the trap of unrealistic timelines or paralyzing self-doubt.

We explore why setting personalized goals aligned with your authentic vision—not someone else's blueprint—is crucial for genuine fulfillment. Remember: your path is uniquely yours, with different resources, responsibilities, and divine guidance. Success isn't just about metrics; it's about building something that aligns with your values and supports your overall wellbeing.

Ready to transform comparison from your biggest business obstacle into your greatest asset? This episode provides the mindset shifts and practical tools you need to leverage comparison strategically while maintaining your sense of self-worth and direction. Share your thoughts with me at lightupyourbusinessllc@gmail.com and remember—in business and in life, it's progress over perfection.

Say goodbye to overwhelm and self-doubt, and hello to confidence and success. Join the Faith Filled Coaching family today and step into the abundant future you've always envisioned.
Visit FaithFilledCoach.com to schedule your free 30-minute consultation. Let's make your business dreams a reality, together.

Chapters

• 0:00 Intro to Business Comparison
• 1:56 The Psychology Behind Comparison
• 4:45 From Trap to Roadmap for Growth
• 8:35 Imposter Syndrome and Unrealistic Timelines
• 15:14 Practical Strategies for Healthy Comparison
• 22:09 Takeaways and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Tammy Hershberger: 0:01

Welcome to the Light Up your Business podcast, the show where we dive deep into the world of small businesses. I'm your host, tammy Hershberger, and each episode will bring you inspiring stories, expert insights and practical tips to help your small business thrive. Whether you're an entrepreneur just starting out or a seasoned business owner, this podcast is your go-to source for success in the small business world. Let's get started to source for success in the small business world. Let's get started. Hi everyone, I want to welcome you back. We're here for another episode. I am Tammy Hershberger and I'm here with Light Up your Business podcast.

Tammy Hershberger: 0:35

Today, I want to talk about minding the gap, turning comparison into a business superpower. Typically, I don't love comparison because I think when we compare ourselves to other people, it's an unfair comparison. I'm not you, you're not me. I don't have your life, you don't have my life. I don't have your time, you don't have my time. I don't have your finances, you don't have mine. But we're going to look at this and we're going to kind of see what we can do to help you out today if you're doing this. So we're going to explore how to identify the gap between where you are and where you want to be. I'm sure most of you are saying to yourself I want this, I want that, I want this for my business, I want this for my family, but you don't know how to get there. So let's talk about how we also can recognize this gap. Which kind of is what we just said, like, where are we going, what is it we need to do to get to where we want to be? And then how can we feel your success rather than holding you back? We'll discuss this topic through the lens of comparison. Comparison isn't the enemy, it's the tool. The key is to learning how to use it strategically to bridge the gap between where you are and where you want to be. We'll explore the psychology behind comparison and how to use it as a growth strategy and the pitfalls to avoid. Plus, I want to share some practical ways for you to shift your mindset and leverage comparison as a business superpower. Tune in and learn how to turn envy and inspiration and frustration into forward momentum. So you may be saying why do we compare?

Tammy Hershberger: 1:59

I found this article. It's written by Angela on February 27th. It's called why Do we Compare Ourselves to Others, and she's talking about why do we compare, and one of her comments. She wrote is comparisons are a natural human tendency and aren't inherently bad. So the psychology of comparison isn't so much that. Basically, it's a built-in human instinct that helps us assess progress and opportunities. So comparison isn't necessarily bad. It's evolutionary instinct of ours, designed to help us gauge our standing in social situations and social groups, assess risk, determine how to adapt and in early human societies, comparing ourselves to others helped with survival and resource allocation. Humans naturally seek validation from others and comparison helps us to understand how we fit with social norms.

Tammy Hershberger: 2:53

Again, in this day and age, social media has amplified that. We look on there and we think how do we compare it to Jimmy Jones? Or how do we compare it to John Hershberger? Or how do we compare it to anyone else that we're seeing? Because you see pictures, you see trips they're taking, you see all these things. But reality is sometimes what you see on camera or on pictures is not what is happening in their homes, right?

Tammy Hershberger: 3:18

So you want to pay attention to the thoughts that arise when you compare yourself to others. For instance, you might be thinking how can I reach that level of wealth? How can I get a nice home like that? Or maybe you think I'll never be able to do that. Well, you need to shift those thoughts, because thinking about what everybody else has and how you're never going to get them is not going to help you. What you need to do is you need to think how can I improve my finances, how can I improve my job, how can I improve my family right? What steps can I take to reach the levels that they're at? And then maybe you kind of need to do a check of like do I even really want what they have? Because maybe they have that nice house but in reality they work 25, you know that's not a good example. Maybe they work 70 hour weeks and you don't want to work that much. Maybe you want to sit at home and eat your bonbons on the couch. Well then, you're probably not going to have what they have.

Tammy Hershberger: 4:07

So the concept of the gap, which is recognizing the difference between your current state and where someone else may be or where your aspirations are, if you use that effectively, comparison can help to motivate us to be better than we were yesterday. We should never do it out of envy, we should never do it out of jealousy. That's not good, but we might want to say, okay, well, if you know John can do it, why can't I do it? Right, I have the same ability, I have the same God, and if it's something God's told you that you can have or you can do, or if his word says it, then you should go after it. So if you look at comparison and how it can create awareness and opportunity, it's very natural for us to observe others, right? Sometimes me and my husband like to go have coffee, we like to people watch, as we call it, and we like to just sit there and just watch people. It's very fascinating the way people move, the things they're doing, the way they talk to each other, who they're hanging out with. You know that kind of stuff.

Tammy Hershberger: 4:57

So you can look around and say, okay, what's what's everybody else doing? But you want to avoid comparing yourself to others and you don't want to be like everyone else. You want to be yourself. God made you special. He made you unique. You want to stick with that. You don't want to just go do what everybody else is doing.

Tammy Hershberger: 5:11

Now, my ex-business partner used to always tell me we can, um, basically do what others are doing if they're winning, so like if we have another business and they're killing it on something, then we can maybe copy that, and copy in the sense of, like we could do door hangers. Now, I'm not saying do exact to a T what they're doing, but there's philosophies, there's principles that you can use. You can stand on, there's ideas and techniques that work, and so then you can use them, but you never want to like fully just become somebody else. That's not what this is about. So then, when you're comparing yourself to others, you want to basically take those comparisons and use that as fuel to drive your determination to create the life that you deserve, the life that you want to travel all the time and do all these things. But it's like that's going to be a detriment maybe to your marriage or your family, because maybe you're never home. If you want that that office in a high rise building well, you're probably going to be working a lot to pay for that. There's going to be a trade-off for that. So make sure you're not turning around and throwing away your values to get to these things. That's not, that's not good.

Tammy Hershberger: 6:23

And then you want to set your benchmark right. You want to set that and focus on your unique journey rather than simply following the path of others, because life is never like. It's not just like straight line from here to there. Right, it's, you're going to be zigzagging all over the place and sometimes I end up in places I never thought I would be. But it's been a journey, right, and that's part of to me, as I'm getting older. The fun of life is it's a journey you just you kind of enjoy wherever you're going and wherever it's taking you to, right? So, instead of seeing the gap as a failure, viewed as a roadmap for growth, it allows us to see what's possible and leverage inspiration as fuel.

Tammy Hershberger: 6:57

Success leaves clues. Learn from those as you go. So, as you do something and you're like okay, I was successful there and this thing I was not. Maybe it's a clue on your roadmap. Right to like get you to where you're going. So public speaking maybe is something you're good at and you're not super creative. Well, maybe you're not supposed to be an artist, maybe you're not supposed to be a graphic designer, but you may be a public speaker. Or maybe you're a leader or something like that. So so kind of dig into those things.

Tammy Hershberger: 7:23

Then you have the productive side of comparison. So you're saying like well, what does that mean? Well, what that means. It's basically the skill to master with comparison is to begin asking the right questions. So you're saying what are the right questions? One question could be what strategies can I adopt, instead of saying why am I not there yet? So, for example, on my weight loss journey, I'm sitting here complaining about my weight, but have I been going to the gym? No, have I been doing extra workouts? No, and so, like then I need to say, well, why am I not getting there? The reality is I'm not doing the work. So then I have to get a plan of, like I'm going to go to the gym three times a week, I'm going to do, you know, workouts two nights a week, I'm going to walk at night, whatever that is. You got to get that strategy. And then you've got to keep asking the right questions so that you can avoid the traps of comparison, which holds us back due to the fear that we won't be able to do something as well as others.

Tammy Hershberger: 8:15

And then look at mentors, look at coaching, look at learning from those who've walked the path before you. Having someone you can rely on for guidance can be a valuable asset to both you and your business. They can push you forward when comparison starts to hold you back and paralyze your progress. And so, for example of that is I've done coaching programs. I did one in the window business called conquer. I've been in Dave Ramsey's summit programs where they teach about leadership. I was in his coaching program.

Tammy Hershberger: 8:42

I do coaching with my clients and I've had people in my life that has poured into me through business and told me about business and I mean even my other business partner. He knew a lot about window cleaning and he told me a lot about people I should start listening to. And so I started listening to these people and I learned so much by doing that and then I could stop comparing myself because I'm learning, just like they are Even the people way ahead of you. They're ahead of you for a reason Maybe they're older than you, but they've just been on the path. Longer They've been in business, longer They've been a parent, longer Whatever it is they've just been doing it and that's why you go to them, that's why they're the best people to talk to, because they've got the experience.

Tammy Hershberger: 9:18

And then you want to navigate comparison on your own, which can be challenging as it often leads to inaction. So a coach like me, for example, or if you have one in your area that you like, we can provide encouragement, we can hold you accountable and we can give you the support that you need to overcome the obstacles, to keep you moving forward. I see that where people are trying to do their own thing and they're out there trying to start their business, they're trying to do art, they're trying to whatever, they're trying to start a nonprofit, and they're just stuck, and then when you actually have someone holding you accountable and sometimes your wife and siblings can do that, but sometimes that's frustrating and you don't want your wife nagging you, and so in this case you come to your coach and for me in coaching, I'll ask what did you do this week? What did you get done? Why did you not get it done? What held you back? And usually I can recognize things that they don't see, such as fear or resentment or uncertainty, and then we can talk about it, we can pray about it, we can do these things to get them through that. So, to get them through that.

Tammy Hershberger: 10:17

So let's talk for a second about internal versus external comparison. It's crucial to understand the difference between comparing yourself to others, which is external, and comparing yourself to your own past self, which is internal. The latter, your internal, tends to be more productive as it focuses on personal progress rather than external validation. So I'm telling you, it means more when you change your internal self than just like I'm going to do this so I can get a bigger house, I'm going to do this and get a bigger car or nicer car, that stuff in time it doesn't really hold much value. It's great at the moment, but in over you know time couple months, three months when you start making those payments it's not so fun anymore. When you start internally changing your life changes.

Tammy Hershberger: 11:00

Let's talk about pitfalls, when comparison becomes a trap. Right, and this is the one I really want you to watch out for. I see it a lot in my coaching clients where people are comparing themselves to other businesses, other artists, other things that they're doing, and I'm like you are not them. They are way further on that journey. They don't have your path, they don't. Well, yeah, let me get through this and then I'll tell you a couple of stories. So the downside of this is comparison becomes paralysis. Right, you get self-doubt, you get that imposter syndrome, as we just discussed. Some comparison can create feelings of self-doubt or feelings like you can't. You can't do it, you're an imposter, it's not real, I have nothing to offer and that keeps you from moving forward. You're an imposter, it's not real, I have nothing to offer and that keeps you from moving forward.

Tammy Hershberger: 11:42

Comparing someone else's highlights reel to your behind the scenes real life situation is very misleading. Again, like I said, you may see their highlight reel on Facebook or social media of like they went on this trip and they own this car and they have this home and they have all these things, but in real life, you're not seeing the struggles every day, right? You're only seeing what persona, if you will of what their successes are. They're not seeing this. You're not seeing the struggles, you're not seeing the setbacks, you're not seeing the years of hard work that they put in. It makes it then feel unfair to you because it's like well, why can't I have that?

Tammy Hershberger: 12:17

I heard someone recently talk about how these, this generation of people in their 20s, they want what their parents have, but they forget that their parents have worked 30, 40 years for that. They didn't have it in my 20s. The things I have today, I did not have in my 20s. I had a crap car. We had a tiny apartment, we didn't own a business. I mean we have all these things that we didn't have that I have today because we've put the time in. God's blessed us, we've done the work, I've put more education, I've read more books right, and if that is you, you've got to stop doing that.

Tammy Hershberger: 12:47

The other thing is, in reality, it's like I talked to these people about an example would be a coaching client I have and he was saying well, how am I doing compared to the business you had? And I'm like it's not the same. You're not me. You don't have the time that I have. You have a family and I do not. Right, I have a husband, but I don't have children. You don't have the same motivation that I do. Not everybody's as driven as I am, right, and God's got a different call for you. So please stop comparing yourself to everybody else. Now you can use it in ways, yes, as motivation, but I think too much we let it become a trap and you don't want to do that. You are not me, I am not you. Like I said in the beginning, it is your path, it is your way, and the way you do things is not my way, and so that's just something to really think about.

Tammy Hershberger: 13:32

Um, in business, business is about progress. It's not about perfection, the danger of unrealistic timelines so I've seen this some happen. Um, if you're wanting everything to be perfect rather than having progress, you know, leading up to the frustration of, like I have, have tried everything, it's not working, I've put too many hours in, I want it to be perfect, I can't launch it. I just did a podcast the other day about this. You are putting unrealistic timelines on what you're trying to do. Okay, so it may even be like I'm going to start this business and in five years I'm going to be at five million dollars. Well, I mean, it's possible.

Tammy Hershberger: 14:12

I'm not saying it's not, but maybe that's unrealistic, because if you've never ran a business before, it's unrealistic Today for me to say I'm going to have a jet in two years for me to own it. It's probably a little unrealistic. I would like to. Maybe I'll start in first class, I want to start flying first class. Then maybe I'll start to believe that I can start chartering jets and then maybe someday I can own it. It's just kind of unrealistic for me to say by next year I'm going to have that.

Tammy Hershberger: 14:28

Not impossible, but probably unrealistic, and I believe you set yourself up for false hope. You're going to destroy your faith because it's not going to probably happen as fast as you think it's going to happen. And then you're going to blame somebody and usually people blame God, which is wrong. But so watch yourself with unrealistic timelines. You've got to make sure your business is sustainable and that's something we we and my business partner we double, double, double, double every year. We did it, but it burned me out and it about destroyed me. I just, with all the businesses and stuff I was doing, it took it, just it was not a good plan. We made it happen, but at the detriment of me, basically.

Tammy Hershberger: 15:04

So let's talk about how to refocus your path when comparison starts to become a struggle, and if you're getting discouraged, so limit the noise right. Take a break from social media maybe unfollow accounts that are frustrating you or that kind of. Get you trapped up in that. If somebody or something triggers negative comparison with you, that's probably something you need to stop following. Track your own progress. Reflect on how far you've come by reviewing past wins, the lessons you've learned and the personal milestones, and then shift your gratitude right. Focus on what you've accomplished and what makes your journey unique, rather than what others are doing.

Tammy Hershberger: 15:39

I think too often in my Bible school this morning they talked about thankfulness and how we get so focused on the things we don't have and how things you know. This person's not nice enough to me and my car is not nice enough and I want the bigger house and I want more children. I want this, I want that, instead of saying I am thankful for the home I have, I'm thankful for the child I have, I'm thankful for the business I have we get. The devil wants us thinking bigger all the time, like I gotta have more double, double, double million dollars here, blah, blah, blah. There. I didn't never once was like okay, let's actually really celebrate that Once in a while I'd get us to go out to dinner to celebrate, but then my mindset shifted to like next thing, next thing, next thing, and it was never. It was honestly never enough. The devil kept me so busy pushing that I just couldn't even enjoy the moments of the wins that I was having, which then created more self-doubt, more concern for myself and I just I lost it there. So I just don't want you guys to do it because it happened to me. Okay, let's talk about practical strategies in business.

Tammy Hershberger: 16:38

Audit your inputs. So who and what are you comparing yourself to? So, are you comparing yourself to people on social media? Are you comparing yourself to industry leaders, people you admire in your personal life? Make sure you're aware of the sources of your comparisons and then remember that sometimes those views of those people can be distorted because you see the successes, you don't see the struggles. Right, most people that are especially industry leaders they don't. You may see them getting awards. You may see them growing their business and tripling their business and getting another van, but you don't see the arguments and the fights and maybe the business partner problems and the money problems. Like you don't see that because we don't show you that right. We keep a good face, not a poker face. But just keep in mind that we all have that struggle. Shift your perspective.

Tammy Hershberger: 17:21

Replace jealousy with curiosity. So if you're feeling jealous or insecure as it comes on, use that as a trigger for curiosity Instead of saying, why can't I have that? Maybe you say what can I learn from their success? What are they doing that I can learn from right? That's why I like biographies, because I'm not a fiction person so much when I read. I like non-fiction because I like to see people's lives and what they've done, what they've overcome, how they did it. That interests me because then I can use those things as potential opportunities for me to change my life or do things different or learn from them, and then that will kind of help you shift your mindset so you see others' achievements as opportunities for growth right, rather than threats to your self-worth. Celebrate the progress right. View real comparison in yesterday's version of you. So again, I mean I look at that and I'm like I don't know how we doubled those businesses so fast, considering the fact that mentally and emotionally I was falling apart but I somehow managed to keep it together. God's grace kept me there. But if I had done it more in a way of gratitude and slow it down some and enjoy those moments, I think my businesses for sure one of them would be in a different place today.

Tammy Hershberger: 18:38

Make sure you focus on that journey. We only get one life to live right, and so, whether you're 20 years old, 30 years old, 40, 50, whatever age you are, enjoy that, enjoy the path right, like the roadmap, because there's so much fun and amazing stuff that happens on our journey and we only get one here in this life. Now, I understand if you're believing you go to heaven. That's a whole different thing. But in this world that we live in, you get one life. You're only going to be 20 once. You're only going to be 30 once. Right, you're only going to get the opportunity that one business once. And there's so many things I wish I could do different. I can't change it now, but I'm just learning today to really smell the roses, right, Like get in there, enjoy the moment, enjoy the situation you're in and just take that you know and meditate on that more than the desire for more.

Tammy Hershberger: 19:19

You want to set personalized goals. Align your business strategy with your vision, not someone else's. We get swept up in what others are doing and maybe we say, oh, that's their goal, that's going to be my goal. Well, that's not, that's not biblical. You need to be doing what God's telling you to do, right. Look at your situation where you are on the roadmap, because maybe someone in the window business or in the shed building business is $5 million. Well, their problems are not going to be the same problems you have because you're much smaller. Maybe you just need to get your first hire done. Maybe you need to stop doing all the work yourself, right? So kind of look at that and say what are the goals that I can set for myself? So that way it's going to keep me moving forward.

Tammy Hershberger: 19:54

But I'm not going to have realistic goals. They're not going to be so drastic that I can't hit them. They should your goals should reflect your authentic self and your personal journey, not someone else's blueprint for your life. There is no one business plan that's going to get you from here to there perfectly, because, again, we're not. I'm not saying someone doesn't sell that. I don't believe it'll work because we have our own limitations, our own struggles, our own lives, our own moments that we have to deal with right, our own traumas. And so do what you're supposed to do. That's what's most important.

Tammy Hershberger: 20:24

And then find a network that is successfully well. Let me rephrase that find a network that is doing similar things to you. They're business-minded, they're growth-minded, they're family-oriented, whatever it is that you're into. And then find people and stick with them, because you're going to encourage each other, you're going to help each other, you're going to build each other up, you're going to inspire each other, you're going to challenge each other's ideas. Sometimes I need people to challenge my ideas because I can't see it from all directions, and then they're going to give you that constructive feedback. You don't want haters. You don't want people that aren't doing anything telling you what to do because they're not even doing anything themselves. That's not going to work. So find that network.

Tammy Hershberger: 21:00

So the last three things I'm going to say before I wrap this up is there's some takeaways for you. Comparison isn't about competition, it's about direction. Use the gap as the growth guide, not a reason to feel stuck. Two, be mindful of both sides of comparison. Remember everyone has a different life, different experience and different luck, different direction from God. You are not supposed to do what everybody else is doing.

Tammy Hershberger: 21:23

Three, don't be so hard on yourselves. People lighten up. Just that's something I had to learn, man. I was very serious. I took everything I did as my own self-worth. That's not accurate. My job is not me, my what, what I am is the way I portray myself, the spouse that I am right now. I am a business owner. That's not all of me. I am a wife that's not all of me. I am a sister that's of me, right. So you want to basically take what you can improve, work on it and then give grace and compassion to yourself if you're not where you want to be yet, but you will get there.

Tammy Hershberger: 21:58

If this episode helped shift your mindset, helped give you perspective, make sure to like, subscribe, share, leave a review, share with other entrepreneurs. Again, I'm doing video now so hopefully you're enjoying that. I want you to send an email to me at lightupyourbusinessllc at gmailcom. Appreciate you, have a great day and remember in the world of business, every success story begins with a passionate dream and ends with a strategic billion-dollar handshake. Stay ambitious, stay innovative and keep making those deals that reshape tomorrow. Thank you all for tuning in and until next time, remember. Proverbs 3.3 says let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. That way you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. And remember if you like what you heard today, click the follow button so you never miss an episode.